“Choose your response to people’s behaviour. No one should enter your mind and trigger your response – Respond Right”
People cannot always be our way. They will live by their personalities and their perceptions. While we cannot control how someone behaves, we can always control our response to their behaviour.
- Meditate every morning to prepare yourself to be loving and calm the entire day. Your peace and happiness are your qualities. They are not dependent on people’s behaviours.
- Whether it is your own child, spouse, sibling or subordinate – everyone has different personalities. You can advise them, instruct them. But they will behave through their perspective in every situation. They are the creators of their behaviour. You are the creator of your response.
- If you get irritated, angry, hurt or betrayed, take responsibility of your emotion. If you blame them for your emotions, it is an illusion where you believe that people are responsible for how you feel. Take responsibility and say to yourself, I created this emotion. I have a choice.
- When you are aware you are creating the response; you have the power to choose your response. Response that is right for you and for the relationship. Respond through your personality of peace, happiness and love.
Respond Right – The Story
The agency owner was furious with everyone in the conference room. The National Creative Director was present and her team was there. The Account Manager was also there with his team. And the room was reverberating with his shouts and yells.
The team were looking panic-stricken as they had never been yelled at, like that. It was a scene that no one had imagined. But when they looked in the direction of the CEO, he sat there quietly writing something in his pad.
Minutes later, the agency owner lost steam and sat down heavily. The CEO smoothly took over. He had his notes ready and he stated the path to turn around the agency in the midst of the crisis they were in.
He calmly read out the work to be done, the allocation of work and the deadlines that were to be met. They were to meet again in the same room in three days with some good results.
The whole team wondered as to how the CEO had remained unaffected by all the negativity in the room. They wanted to understand what he did and what he practiced, to be so peaceful.
While we can’t control how someone behaves, we can always control our response to them.
Peace and happiness are our internal creation. They can be generated regardless of people’s behaviors and our situations. Meditation and spiritual study prepare the mind to be powerful throughout the day, unaffected by external events.
People are creators of their behaviour but we are creators of our response.
All people in contact with us in our daily lives have different personalities. They behave through those personalities and through their own perceptions. They are not in our control. We can advise or instruct them but they will finally have their own ways. We cannot afford to get disturbed each time they are not our way. Instead, we need to choose a right response that retains our peace and influences them positively.
Other people are not responsible for your feelings.
People and situations are not responsible for the way you feel. They are only the stimulus, your responses are the thoughts, feelings and behaviour which you choose and create. Take responsibility for your response. If you are hurt or angry or feeling let down or betrayed, it is you who needs to answer your mind and calm it. Not anyone else. You need to train yourself to stay unaffected.
Even if other people are behaving in reactive manners, for you to remain stable internally at that moment is strength. Peace is strength, anger is weakness. Remind yourself that you are a powerful being. Before taking charge of those around you, take charge of your own mind. Focus on what is to be done next. Think clearly. Express your opinion softly and assertively. It will have a calming influence on others and brings the situation under control.
The CEO managed to successfully tide over the crisis and the agency won back the major account that week itself. The owner realized he had a lesson or two to learn from the CEO!
Let’s revise our affirmations to remain authentic, and unaffected by people’s behaviour –
I am a loveful being.
I know myself.
I create the right thought in every situation, with every person.
I understand that they may not be my way.
I do not need them to be my way.
Their feelings, words and behaviours reflect their personality.
I know it’s about them. It’s not about me.
I have the way which is right for me. Their behaviour is theirs. My behaviour is my choice.
I am stable always.
I respond right always