The lady watched as her best friend sat and cried in front of her. Again, the friend had a tiff of sorts with her husband and had stormed off to her parents’ place. The husband, tired of her nit-picking had spoken his mind for once and she had not liked it. It’s normal between spouses. But here she was crying in front of her best friend, the lady.
Now, the lady should have quietly heard her out and offered her some comfort and left it at that. No, that didn’t happen. Instead, she got into the whole story, shared the angst in full and nearly crying because of the shared pain.
Hello! Her husband hadn’t troubled her. It was her friend’s husband.
But when things get muddled up in the head, these kinds of things are bound to occur.
The lady waited for her husband to come in that evening and dumped the whole sob story on him. He, flummoxed and taken aback, said that she should just step back and not get involved.
That provoked another sobbing session and the idea that he was being cruel took root. He was disgusted and took off to the living room and watched a football match till midnight to escape such sob sagas.
The lady moaned herself to sleep.
Do you get the issue here?
People share their pain because they need someone to listen, nothing more. Listen to them but stay detached.
People share their pains because they need to share. But please, practice the art of emotional detachment. Listen to them, understand them but don’t start feeling their pain. That would be unfortunate. Because you will be in pain and that can radiate to unsuspecting others too.
Provide strength to people who share pain but don’t get affected. Provide high energy to them and create great vibrations.
Stop worrying about them. They came to share. They know what has happened and what they have to do, in most cases. But still they like looping in others onto their pain. They need strength. But not the advice and mindspace. Provide the strength. That’s enough. Talk about their achievements. Their inherent qualities. Just stay stable and calm. Then thoughts and words would become high energy charms. The vibrations shall work. That’s it.
Alter the course of the people who come to share their pain.
When you are emotionally detached, you become a counsellor and see different perspectives. It is the clarity and stability that they require. Remind yourself, “I am an emotionally independent person and others’ behaviours don’t influence me. If people are in pain, I understand, and will counsel and alter their course of thought by my energy. I heal others.”
The lady, of course, had a nice heart-warming insight from her husband the next day and understood that she was doing something incorrect. She’s on the mend.