Be Empathetic, not Sympathetic.

“Even when you disagree with someone, your empathy will help you be respectful to them.”

When someone shares about the hardships they are going through, our first instinct is to offer sympathy by experiencing their pain or feeling sorry for them. This means we are adding pain to their existing pain. Instead of sympathy, lets offer empathy by giving them what they truly need – power and comfort.

  1. Sympathy carries energy of sorrow and pity which are deeply negative. Your sympathy cannot solve problems but can intensify the pain.
  2. Detach yourself emotionally to be able to see the bigger picture. This helps to listen to them with stability, understand their perspective and avoid judgments.
  3. Empathize by giving them the vibrations they need, not the vibrations they have. They are already hurt so don’t go into pain and radiate more pain. Give them positive vibrations of your unconditional love and support. 
  4. Even if they are wrong, support them. Reserve your advice or discipline for later. Right now, just show them their strengths and be with them until they cross their hurdle.

The elder son came and sat beside the grieving mother. The room was full of sympathetic people and they were all saying it was not an age for her man to go. Now what would she do? The son had seen the repetitive waves of pity flow. And so he decided to sit beside her so that some of the over the top sympathy would subside.

It did.

Two days of mourning passed by. And then a man appeared. He was an old friend of theirs. He knew the man who had passed away for long, from their university days. He spoke. He told the mother that she should now take charge and that there wasn’t any time to waste.

He brought the business associates of her departed husband home and persuaded her to meet and greet them. He convinced her to look ahead and look at the bright things. An excellent family was there. So, was a good and worthy business. She had everything to look forward to despite the loss. The son could take his time and be groomed to take over when he felt secure.

That empathetic attitude of the friend changed everything overnight for the mother.

Sympathy can pull you down into a pit of sorrow and pain. Opt for empathy that empowers people.

Sympathy cannot help. It carries vibrations of misery and despair. The whole process is energy depleting. When offering sympathy to someone, even you would feel worse. You will need to snap out fast. Here, empathy helps.

Use empathy to pull people out of their sorrows and make them see the bigger picture.

If you are a friend and see people being overly sympathetic to your friend, help them recover. Get them to detach from the sorrow and empower them. You should see the bigger picture and help them see it. Avoid judgements. Just help them sail through troubled waters.

Even if people are wrong, provide unconditional support and help them achieve an improved vision.

Give them vibrations of unconditional support. Sometimes, even if they are wrong. Show them the path to strength and happiness. You can deal with the wrong later. Remind yourself that you are powerful and have the intellect to bring peace in the people around you. You are detached and can see the path ahead clearly. And you can help them see it and improve their vision. You can change destinies and destinations.

The mother went on to handle the business and handheld the elder son to a simple takeover. He’s doing great and she enjoys a good life beyond board meetings.

Apurva Popat

Apurva Popat

Dr Apurva Popat has been teaching Medical science since he was in his medical school and has helped many students to master medical and spiritual knowledge.

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