Wisdom says. “It’s better to give than to receive”. We are naturally inclined to radiate care financially, physically or emotionally. But we need to check whether we care selflessly.
- Take care of yourself first, to be able to take better care of others. Nurture yourself daily with meditation, spiritual study right amounts of exercise, diet, activity, rest and relaxation. Have an energized mind and healthy body.
- Even if you cannot offer physical or financial assistance, care emotionally. Listen to people attentively and speak comforting words. Let your every thought and word for them be positive. Radiate a feeling of being there for them unconditionally.
- Care because it is your quality. Do not do it to please someone, gain appreciation or seek attention. More importantly, don’t expect them to care for you, when you need help. Check your intentions and be determined to care selflessly.
- When someone shares a problem with you, be non judgemental. Do not discuss about them or about how you cared for them, with other. Maintain confidentiality.
The grandmother used to sit and moan all day that she was doing so much for the children and the grandchildren but yet she could not get a nice word out of them at all. It was as if she had been taken for granted. If people needed water she was there. If people needed a plate of food in a hurry, she was there. All the while she was there and yet there was no appreciation and definitely no love.
The grandfather, her husband, had counselled her a lot that in their advancing years that they should not have expectations. Rather, it would be nice of them to love others and care for them selflessly. It does not look nice when they place their own expectations on the family and keep reminding them about it.
But she was stubborn in her ways and always wanted the reciprocation.
Into this family, a young girl came in and became the wife of the youngest son of the grandparents. She had her usual youthful carefree ways. But she also had another trait. She cared for people without expectation and selflessly all the while.
Care for others no matter at what time they need you.
Every morning she was up way before others and systematically helped everyone with their morning rituals, exercises, sometimes participating with them in their Yoga or Pilates, getting the children ready, getting the breakfast going, all the while vibrant and happy.
Values and ethics get validated when you care selflessly, you go up in people’s eyes.
She had her values and ethics in place. Said No to unhealthy food but in a very sweet way. She slept at the right times even though the family was still awake watching a show on TV. Her regimen was immediately noticed by everyone in the house.
She spoke well and therefore took on the communication responsibilities of the family business. She cared about the people she met and made them feel at home. Guests were taken in by her happy energy. She radiated that all the while.
Great listening is the foundation of great care.
She listened a lot. To the old parents who told her about ailments or bygone days. To the sisters in law in the household who spoke about their erring children or their husbands’ ways. To the men who shared with her the travails of the businesses. Everything she could respond to, she responded. Other things, she listened to well and later offered nice solutions. She looked for those solutions earnestly. And she maintained the discretion where needed. In effect she gave her time usefully to others. Selflessly!
She avoided gossip or arguments. Others came to know that she restricted herself from all of that. The grandparents of the family, her in-laws, marvelled at her ways. The grandfather remarked to the grandmother that she should learn from the young lady. It is never too late to learn. She should remind herself that she is a stable person in a nice family and that she is caring. All she had to do was to start caring selflessly and people would love her.
The grandmother is learning from the young lady and has even accompanied the lady to a fashion show where they both walked the ramp. For the first time, the grandmother got a resounding applause.