“Practise compassion for people when they right, even when they are not.”
When someone is physically unwell, we understand they are not at their best. We become compassionate towards them. Likewise, people who are emotionally unwell – egoistic, manipulative, insecure, jealous or guilty cannot give their best. Instead of getting upset over their mistakes, we need to be compassionate.
- Remember that everyone is doing their best. Their intentions are right, but their actions or behaviour may not be correct. Only those who are emotionally weak, make mistakes or go wrong.
- Even if someone betrayed you, your anger is your creation. Understand that they did not cause you pain, they themselves are in emotional pain. Empower yourself with meditation and spiritual study everyday, strengthen your original qualities of tolerance, forgiveness and compassion for people.
- Detach from your perspective and see their reason for their mistake – ego, stress, insecurity, jealousy or confusion. These are emotional illnesses. They did what they perceived as right. This understanding dissolves anger and creates compassion.
- Your intention should be transformation, not punishment. Forgive them, heal them with your love and then advise. Highlight their strengths, help them to change. Don’t discuss their mistake with others.
Compassion for People – The Story
The builder had worked his way into a lot of success. He had started a small construction company doing retaining walls for some new projects in and around town. Also he seized upon a building boom and constructed his way to a big business.
No doubt, he made a lot of money. But money attracts envy. His family was a large one. His wife’s brothers were always around. Now they wanted to be around his business too. He knew they weren’t up to any good. But he tolerated them. They tried bringing him land development deals. He fended them off. Till one day when he came to know that they were doing deals in his name and pocketing money.
He stopped their access to his business and family. His wife was very upset with him. And stopped talking to him. It was childish. But she didn’t know any better. It upset him too. Her not talking. So, he called up his father who was in another town to help settle matters.
His father arrived. But surprisingly, instead of counselling the daughter-in-law, the father came to his office and sat at his desk. In front of him.
“The real strength of a man” the father explained to his son, “is when he is compassionate towards an erring fellow human. To err is human. But to understand that, be compassionate and let things go. That is above being good. It is being humane. That is real strength.”
The emotionally weak make mistakes and they can be corrected.
The father continued, “Intentions may have been something else. Maybe even to be basking in the sunlight that you provide. Not all people are entrepreneurial. Possibly, their judgements were weak. But you can show them the better way. You can help them bring their goodness back.”
Your anger is your creation and you need to empower yourself to overcome it.
“Don’t banish people for making mistakes. You will be left with no one. Instead, work on them with calmness. Assess them, show them new paths. They will learn better things. You can empower yourself by meditation and by spiritual study. It gives you strength to remain stable in every situation. Your calm will have depth. You will understand all of them far better. And your anger will melt away”.
Detach from your perspective and see it from others’ point of view.
“Step back from the situation. See it from their point of view. You will understand the pain that is driving them towards wrongdoings. You will see that they suffer from emotional illnesses. Greed. Envy. Insecurities. Jealousy. They are victims to these. They need your compassion. Offer it to heal them. And once they are healed, gently advice the right ways.”
Would you want to descend to their level or pull them up to your level? Do the latter. Highlight their strengths. Encourage them. Remind yourself that you are in a fortunate position to change things for them because you are successful. Inspire them to change, just by being your good, compassionate self.”
The builder did. Over time, his extended family and friends joined him in doing some awesome work to get the group to a world class level. He just won a multi-million dollar construction deal, the biggest in his state!