How to Forgive Someone who has Hurt You?

Forgiveness is the attribute of the strong.

Forgiveness and love are our original qualities. Offering forgiveness takes only one thought.  Holding onto people’s thoughts requires several negative thoughts. 

  1. Not forgiving others amounts to not forgiving yourself. Somebody was not right to you. But by holding on and creating pain, you are hurting yourself constantly. Forgiveness liberates you from the pain.
  2. Shift from your hurt to understand the mindset of the other person. See the reason, the pain, insecurity or jealousy because of which they did what they did. Understanding creates compassion and makes forgiveness easier.
  3. When inner conversations about people’s mistake repeat on the mind, create a new thought – I am a compassionate being. Forgiving and accepting people is natural for me. Visualise the negative impression leaving your mind. Do this daily and many times in a day. 
  4. Forgiveness does not only mean you speak and behave as before. It means you have healed your pain, have understood the other person’s perspective and do not hold them responsible for you hurt. 

The singer had his best times at the studio and on stage in the 90s. He sang playback for numerous heroes of that time and won numerous awards. For a while, he was the chosen singer of all producers. But, all good things have to end. One day, in 2003, he found that he had been replaced in a film by a younger singer.

He had his own team that had stuck on like leeches through the whole time, working loyally with him on every project until then. He found that they started drifting away. He had to make money too as his balance was shrinking. His manager got him small town performances. He started on those.

The entire team had by then disappeared. They had no appetite for small towns. He, a bitter and lonely man, did those shows with some unknown orchestras. But it enabled an income. And his voice was still there.

And then one day a producer called again. He had a film that was loosely based on him, the legendary singer. Would he sing again for the film? He agreed. The songs were huge hits. The manager had so many shows suddenly that the schedule stretched to nine months ahead. His earlier team tried to creep back.

But amazingly, the singer did not say much to the people who came back again. When asked by media he said that when it comes to releasing bitter memories of people’s mistakes, we struggle to release them. Without realizing that forgiveness can liberate both of us, we walk around the same people holding on to anger and pain for years. He had overcome that struggle and it feels good. Sit back and prepare your mind to radiate unconditional forgiveness.

Not forgiving others is not forgiving yourself. You are holding onto a pain. That’s not good for you and the others. Release it and let it go. You will feel better and will be able to experience the new.

Understanding creates compassion and makes forgiveness easier.

Try to understand why they did what they did. Why they went away or spoke ill of you. Maybe, just that the time was up for a relationship. Or they needed to do things elsewhere. These understandings would help you release the pain.

Visualise the negative impression leave your mind.

Focus all your mind to have that conversation. To arrive at that understanding. To make peace. To not be judgemental. And then let everything be released. Those negative impressions will go away. People then are just people with their pluses and minuses.

Forgiveness means you have healed your pain. You will know it. You will be healthier. You will create new possibilities. Remind yourself that you are a compassionate being and your behaviour is not influenced by how others behave. You understand that nature creates people differently and disagreements are possible. But you can forgive and move on.

The singer is a rage once again and has three TV shows plus a show schedule that’s envied by many in the industry. Apologetic of their earlier behaviour, his team is determined not only to stick with the singer, but to give their very best in every show.

Apurva Popat

Apurva Popat

Dr Apurva Popat has been teaching Medical science since he was in his medical school and has helped many students to master medical and spiritual knowledge.

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