Sometimes we just can’t understand people, their thought process, choices and responses. We need to understand ourselves first to understand how people’s mind work.
- Spend a few minutes with yourself daily. Check your thoughts, see how you respond to every scene. Detach and check if your every response is a right response.
- Reflect why do i create a disturbed response even when i know it is not the right response? Is it because it is my habit? Can i change my habit? Why after deciding every day to be right, and do my best, why is it, I still make a mistake?
- Compassion for yourself. You are on a journey. You are carrying a baggage of past habits and emotional wounds. Understand yourself. Once you understand your thought processes and behaviour, compassion for others becomes simple. People are victims of their personality and habits. This knowledge helps you to understand them.
- We all carry different habits and personalities. Bringing out any change implies we are going against our old selves. Give yourself and people time. Understand the unique challenges each one is facing.
The police officer sipped his tea and sat in front of the interviewer. He was a famous officer who had done some hair-raising work in apprehending criminals all over the city.
The interviewer asked him as to how he could perform so well over the years.
The officer kept quiet for a while and then answered.
I didn’t understand people so much and so I didn’t know how to look for them when I got cases. I didn’t know their thought processes, choices and responses. So, I thought of a great alternative. I started to understand myself first. To understand others.
I got better. I acquired a sense of what I was doing and what I wanted to do. I started to spend a few minutes with myself. Started understanding my own thoughts and my responses to everything coming up. I started to check if all my responses were right. That’s where we start. We have ourselves and we can check ourselves the best.
Check within yourself and reflect on your own actions and reactions during the time with yourself everyday.
I started reflecting on my actions and reactions. Was it some force of habit? If so, could I change my habit? I could have prepared for every action properly, but would I still commit a mistake. As I reflected on these eventualities, my mistakes kept getting lesser.
Have compassion for yourself and understand your actions to understand others and their actions.
I needed to have compassion for myself. Understand myself thoroughly. Past habits and emotional wounds had to be dropped. So that I became a sharp decision maker during actions. Then, I began to understand others. Their habits and personalities. This understanding allowed me to know where they would be.
Understanding yourself is gradual and you will need time and face unique challenges while doing this.
But this is gradual, and I needed to give myself time for this. I also needed my teammates and other people to understand me again. The unique challenges we faced were dealt with this mutual understanding. So, I reminded myself, “I am a compassionate being and created a great relationship with myself and that has positively influenced my relationships with people, I understood my own personality and that allowed me to understand others.”
The police officer won a medal recently. His compassion for all, including the criminals are now spoken about in police training schools.